It has been awhile since I have written anything. For a moment, I felt bad about that and had begun with the internal guilt trip, but I reminded myself that I would only write when I had something to say, and I had been unmotivated and stuck.
This week, I decided that I needed to fast for a few days, mainly from social media. I was tired..the noise was becoming too much. Black men attacking black women for wearing weave...people supporting Bill Cosby and R. Kelly...Kanye...Trump...police killing and attacking people of color...the incessant need to tell people what they are not doing right, and how they need to level up...it was all a lot and I needed to take a break. So, I did..for about 4 days.
Along with that, I adjusted my diet, and added more prayer and bible study. I will admit, that I have never successfully completed a fast. Whenever my church fast, I always start strong, but usually don't finish. Something about this time was different and it was easier than I expected it to be.
When I started, I only knew that the noise was too much, and was only expecting to feel lighter, and less overwhelmed...but in true God fashion...He showed up! I am not ready to go into full details, maybe one day I will, but what I can say, is that I come out of my fast with this...enough is enough.
I will be 35 in September! (I cannot believe this and I am honestly having a small crisis). I am not sure why, but something about it is making me anxious. I feel like I got some of that answer this week. For some time now, I have been living lower than my calling. I know that God wants to use my life to make an impact, but I have been running in some ways. This week, I made a very hard decision, and had to speak my truth in ways that I have never done before. I did not want to do it. I have been thinking about it all week, and I get sad at times. Because, if I am honest, I want what I walked away from. I realize that what I want is not always what is best for me. So, as I get ready to approach 35, I have decided enough is just enough. The woman of integrity that I am, takes center stage now, and if that means being uncomfortable, then so be it. The call is more important that my comfort and it is time for me to level all the way up. No more running, no more hiding, just me, standing flat footed and firm, and saying yes. Yes to God, yes to opportunity, yes to life, yes to love, yes to the next version of Lauren. I am ready, to grow again, to transform for another time. Life is all about change, growth and revitalization. So, here I am, unsure of what's next, but trusting that whatever it is, is what's best.
Integrity - 1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles
2. the state of being whole and undivided
Transmute - 1. to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature and especially to a higher form.
Lauren
This week, I decided that I needed to fast for a few days, mainly from social media. I was tired..the noise was becoming too much. Black men attacking black women for wearing weave...people supporting Bill Cosby and R. Kelly...Kanye...Trump...police killing and attacking people of color...the incessant need to tell people what they are not doing right, and how they need to level up...it was all a lot and I needed to take a break. So, I did..for about 4 days.
Along with that, I adjusted my diet, and added more prayer and bible study. I will admit, that I have never successfully completed a fast. Whenever my church fast, I always start strong, but usually don't finish. Something about this time was different and it was easier than I expected it to be.
When I started, I only knew that the noise was too much, and was only expecting to feel lighter, and less overwhelmed...but in true God fashion...He showed up! I am not ready to go into full details, maybe one day I will, but what I can say, is that I come out of my fast with this...enough is enough.
I will be 35 in September! (I cannot believe this and I am honestly having a small crisis). I am not sure why, but something about it is making me anxious. I feel like I got some of that answer this week. For some time now, I have been living lower than my calling. I know that God wants to use my life to make an impact, but I have been running in some ways. This week, I made a very hard decision, and had to speak my truth in ways that I have never done before. I did not want to do it. I have been thinking about it all week, and I get sad at times. Because, if I am honest, I want what I walked away from. I realize that what I want is not always what is best for me. So, as I get ready to approach 35, I have decided enough is just enough. The woman of integrity that I am, takes center stage now, and if that means being uncomfortable, then so be it. The call is more important that my comfort and it is time for me to level all the way up. No more running, no more hiding, just me, standing flat footed and firm, and saying yes. Yes to God, yes to opportunity, yes to life, yes to love, yes to the next version of Lauren. I am ready, to grow again, to transform for another time. Life is all about change, growth and revitalization. So, here I am, unsure of what's next, but trusting that whatever it is, is what's best.
Integrity - 1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles
2. the state of being whole and undivided
Transmute - 1. to change or alter in form, appearance, or nature and especially to a higher form.
Lauren
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