One of my goals for 2018 is to stand firmly in my truth and not to change who I am in order to make another person comfortable. Many people think because I work hard, have a lot on my plate and seek to achieve a lot, that makes me automatically confident. Truth is, I am not. I work really hard to build my self esteem, and I fight hard to love the woman I am today! If you come to my home, you would see my mirrors filled with affirmations and scriptures to remind myself who I am, who God says I am, and what he has promised me. Recently, I have found myself having to defend myself, or feeling the need to express myself in ways that are not natural to me, so I decided to write this, mainly as therapy, but also as a glimpse into who I am.
I was (mostly) raised by my mom and grandmother. My mom and my grandmother are amazing women, who have taught me a lot. One of the biggest lessons was how to be a lady. How I should carry myself, the way a lady should act, dress, respond, etc. This lesson has stayed with me through out my life.
I am a social introvert by nature. I have high level of social anxiety, and I do better in small groups, intimate settings, but thrive most in one on one situations. I hate big crowds, and I never want to be the center of attention. When given the choice, I always choose the background. I am quiet, and shy, but once I warm up to people, I probably talk too much.
I am a highly motivated person. Once I set my sights on something, I work hard to achieve it. I do not like excuses, and do my best to remove them from my life, even if it takes me longer than I imagined. I like to learn, and achieve.
I am told I am beautiful. I think I am relatively attractive. I don't like the attention of people telling me how pretty I am all the time.
I love hard and I care a lot. I pray for others more than I pray for myself. If you tell me you have something important coming up, I am going to remember and follow up to see how it went, and if I can help in anyway.
So many times I am misunderstood. People label me as boujie (is that how you spell that?), stuck up, mean, that I think I am better than others, intimidating, unapproachable. People even tend to think I grew up privileged, I mean, you would not believe all that I have heard. What most people do not understand is most of what they see is a combination of the things above. I am a woman who is oftentimes worried about what others think, worried about saying the wrong things. A woman who feels awkward in social settings, who is trying to force herself to enter into conversation so she won't make people uncomfortable, or have them thinking she is stuck up. I am a woman who is forcing herself to SHOW UP and to NEVER shrink back. I am a woman who loves hard. Who wants so desperately to assist other women in any capacity that she can. Who cherishes friendship, and longs to be in an relationship with a wonderful black man.
I am writing this, because I want to give people a different perspective, not just about me, but about others like me. Many times, the things you see on the outside are not an indication of what's happening on the inside. Things that people have acquired or accomplished don't always directly correlate with their personalities. Judge people by their character and the way they treat others, not by what you think you see. Leave room for people to be who they are, and even more room for who they are becoming. It's hard to fit into boxes...we weren't made for that.
I was (mostly) raised by my mom and grandmother. My mom and my grandmother are amazing women, who have taught me a lot. One of the biggest lessons was how to be a lady. How I should carry myself, the way a lady should act, dress, respond, etc. This lesson has stayed with me through out my life.
I am a social introvert by nature. I have high level of social anxiety, and I do better in small groups, intimate settings, but thrive most in one on one situations. I hate big crowds, and I never want to be the center of attention. When given the choice, I always choose the background. I am quiet, and shy, but once I warm up to people, I probably talk too much.
I am a highly motivated person. Once I set my sights on something, I work hard to achieve it. I do not like excuses, and do my best to remove them from my life, even if it takes me longer than I imagined. I like to learn, and achieve.
I am told I am beautiful. I think I am relatively attractive. I don't like the attention of people telling me how pretty I am all the time.
I love hard and I care a lot. I pray for others more than I pray for myself. If you tell me you have something important coming up, I am going to remember and follow up to see how it went, and if I can help in anyway.
So many times I am misunderstood. People label me as boujie (is that how you spell that?), stuck up, mean, that I think I am better than others, intimidating, unapproachable. People even tend to think I grew up privileged, I mean, you would not believe all that I have heard. What most people do not understand is most of what they see is a combination of the things above. I am a woman who is oftentimes worried about what others think, worried about saying the wrong things. A woman who feels awkward in social settings, who is trying to force herself to enter into conversation so she won't make people uncomfortable, or have them thinking she is stuck up. I am a woman who is forcing herself to SHOW UP and to NEVER shrink back. I am a woman who loves hard. Who wants so desperately to assist other women in any capacity that she can. Who cherishes friendship, and longs to be in an relationship with a wonderful black man.
I am writing this, because I want to give people a different perspective, not just about me, but about others like me. Many times, the things you see on the outside are not an indication of what's happening on the inside. Things that people have acquired or accomplished don't always directly correlate with their personalities. Judge people by their character and the way they treat others, not by what you think you see. Leave room for people to be who they are, and even more room for who they are becoming. It's hard to fit into boxes...we weren't made for that.
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