Random Thought...Unpredictable Mumbling

So, for some time now, I have wanted to say a few things about child support. Didn't know if I should rant on FB (I am not a twitter user), or post a blog. Obliviously, I decided to go with the blog, just because I wanted to make sure my thoughts came across clear. Let me start by saying this is NOT to bash anyone, but to offer a different perspective. I hear so many men (and some women) talk negatively about child support and the women who receive it, and honestly, I think it is nonsense. So, hear we go... A note, I will refer to parents as custodial and non-custodial, because I realize that although we are always talking about women who receive child support, the reverse could be true. A little background. I am a mother of 2, and my children have different dads. 1 pays child support, the other does not. I do not believe that all non-custodial parents should be on court ordered support. If you are responsible enough to give the custodial parent, a set amount (20% in Illinois

It has been awhile since I have written anything. For a moment, I felt bad about that and had begun with the internal guilt trip, but I reminded myself that I would only write when I had something to say, and I had been unmotivated and stuck. This week, I decided that I needed to fast for a few days, mainly from social media. I was tired..the noise was becoming too much. Black men attacking black women for wearing weave...people supporting Bill Cosby and R. Kelly...Kanye...Trump...police killing and attacking people of color...the incessant need to tell people what they are not doing right, and how they need to level up...it was all a lot and I needed to take a break. So, I did..for about 4 days. Along with that, I adjusted my diet, and added more prayer and bible study. I will admit, that I have never successfully completed a fast. Whenever my church fast, I always start strong, but usually don't finish. Something about this time was different and it was easier than I expected

One of my goals for 2018 is to stand firmly in my truth and not to change who I am in order to make another person comfortable. Many people think because I work hard, have a lot on my plate and seek to achieve a lot, that makes me automatically confident. Truth is, I am not. I work really hard to build my self esteem, and I fight hard to love the woman I am today! If you come to my home, you would see my mirrors filled with affirmations and scriptures to remind myself who I am, who God says I am, and what he has promised me. Recently, I have found myself having to defend myself, or feeling the need to express myself in ways that are not natural to me, so I decided to write this, mainly as therapy, but also as a glimpse into who I am. I was (mostly) raised by my mom and grandmother. My mom and my grandmother are amazing women, who have taught me a lot. One of the biggest lessons was how to be a lady. How I should carry myself, the way a lady should act, dress, respond, etc. This lesso

I have been sexually assaulted. It happened within an intimate partner relationship. I have only uttered these words a few times, to a few people, and come to think of it, I was unable to say sexually assaulted. I was only able to describe the situation. Even as I type this, I can feel my body getting tense. I am beginning to sweat, my fingers feel tight, and my arms feel numb. I feel my heart beating fast, and my breathing is labored. I did not think I would ever share this publicly, but as stated in previous blogs, I believe my transparency will help me heal. And, I am ready to begin to heal from this. The truth is that I am forever changed because of this experience. The way I show up in the world daily will never be the same. I was use to being afraid of coming home too late. I was use to feeling fear when random men got too close to me, or said something mildly inappropriate while in the store. I had gotten use to the anxiety I feel daily when I walk into the men's shelt

2017 has been one for the books! I have experienced more loss than I care to recount, and I would be a liar if I did not admit I was excited to see it go! There was love and love lost...lessons that I should have learned a long time ago, were revisited because clearly, I did not learn all I needed to learn the first time around. 2017 dealt me one of the biggest heartbreaks I have had outside of being a divorcee (I so would like to go into details, but my petty ain't set up like that 😂.) There has been death, so much death...I have been stretched in so many ways...and I  AM TIRED! With all the bad, there has been just as much good. Her Future is thriving, and put down roots in Galesburg, IL. Jeremiah started high school in one of the best schools in the city. Prayers that I have been waiting to be answered, were answered. I was inducted into a wonderful organization...40 Under 40 YWPL...and informed that I would be acknowledged by She Rocks It! I have met some wonderful people, s

"I met God And She's Black" Now more than ever, I am convinced that this quote is true. I am in a great season of my life, and a part of what's making it so great is the fact that I am currently meeting and being surrounded by so many wonderful black women. And they are ALL doing their thing! These black women have started businesses, organizations, writing books, raising children, loving their partners, and being unapologetically black. What's so amazing in all of this, they are moving us all forward. The work they have committed themselves to is not only for them, but it's for all of us. I watch as they work to create products and services that are designed for us, so that we can see ourselves in mainstream, and have a place to turn when we need some uplifting. This excites me, and motivates me to keep going. I often say, no one is coming to save us, we must save ourselves. Black women are here doing the work, to do just that...save US! So, Black wom